Last Gleaming

Happy birthday, America.

I have to say, the mood is less than celebratory this year. We have upwards of 50,000 new cases of COVID-19 every day, and we’ve lost more than 130,000 mothers and fathers, sisters, brothers, and children. There is no end in sight, since the President’s ego and cowardice are running the show. With his usual stunning gift for irony, he’s also trying one more time to dismantle Obama’s healthcare plan; apparently mid-pandemic, when millions of people are out of work through no fault of their own, appears to be the perfect time to reattach healthcare to employment. We are engaged in an epic civil rights battle. We’re staring at yet more evidence that our Pres is a tool for Putin.

I’m a gentle person, but I’ve never ached to punch someone in the face more than I do right now.

On a personal note, the book and series I had so much hope for is a no-go. I just don’t have the chops for it, so chalk up another between-the-mattresses waste of paper—though, on the plus side, it did keep me busy for a while. And it’s still a thing of beauty in my head, if not on the page.

I’m trying to keep moving. I’m starting on a very simple present-day romance novella, because what-the-fuck-ever, right? Easiest covers in the world to DIY, and pen names, much like writers, are a dime a dozen.

Sidebar: I considered posting a picture of Melania’s “I REALLY DON’T CARE DO U?” coat right here, from back in the good old days when we were only beginning to put children in cages, but decided that even I am not that far gone just yet.

I realize this all sounds very whiny but honestly, guys, I’m depressed as fuck. I’m trying to pull it together, and it’s not like there’s nothing to look forward to. My job isn’t lost after all. I’d been stuck between roles when COVID hit, having just finished school to become a nutritional therapist at the PT clinic where I used to work the front desk. For a time it wasn’t clear whether the clinics would even survive the pandemic, as they had just undergone a major restructuring at the end of 2019. But now we’re back on track. I’ve got some fancy new business cards and the marketing team is drumming up clients, so I’ll finally be able to start my practice and hopefully get some people feeling better. Like I said, I’m trying to keep moving.

What are you doing today?

6 responses

  1. Trying to make my world a better place by drinking water and doing laundry. I am also depressed as fuck. I’m supposed to be revising chapter 14 (this shit is never going to end), but I’m here. Big congrats on your new career tho!!

    • Thank you! I applaud your water-drinking and laundry-doing. I’m collecting houseplants in lieu of productive work. The more I have, the more time I can kill by fussing over them.

  2. Hi baby,

    Sending you so much love. I get the depression. The world is a depressing place right now.

    I’m still in Houston. Finally having both my knees replaced on the 13th. If one more person tells me how difficult and painful it’s going to be, my head is going to explode.

    I’m staying with Chris, which is fine, but come on. My surgery was supposed to be in March.

    I miss everyone, including Amy, who I spoke to recently, and I’m glad I did.

    Hopefully I’ll see you sometime soon. I sure do miss our talks.

    Love you, Shanna

    Sent from an iPhone that arbitrarily changes my words and often makes me sound illiterate.


    • I always felt like Amy was our first casualty of the Trump administration. I’m so glad she’s back in our lives. I missed her, too.

      March to July is a long fucking time to be waiting on surgery. You guys are in the thick of it now, too, with the outbreaks. Hang in there. I’m sending love right back at you.


  3. The desperate insanity of the first world. It’s hard not to be Depressed AF. Although I’m not around much these days, it’s been lovely to see you in my Inbox again, Averil…to know you are keeping on writing, and moving, in whatever way. None of it is easy. Commiserations from afar xo

    • Well hello there, Alarna! It’s lovely to see you, too. I’m so glad you stopped by to say hello and I hope you’re well and happy-ish. What a world, huh?